I think about the worst things I went through after my c-section: The intense physical pain for weeks -much worse than unmedicated back labor- not being able to hold and comfort my child, feeling like I didn't really give birth, not feeling like my baby was really mine, knowing my liver was overloaded with drugs... Continue Reading →
C-section Survivor
I am the survivor of an unnecessary c-section. Ten years ago, reading something like that would sound overly dramatic. A cesarean? No big deal, right? But as anyone who has had an unplanned, emergency c-section can tell you (and even some mamas who had time to mentally, socially and physically prep their post-partum environment) they... Continue Reading →
The Way Out
I'm here 19 months post partum. I still think about what happened to me, in some form, every day. Every night. I catch myself thinking about it, and sometimes I berate myself. Sara, I say, it's been 19 months. Over a year and a half. You should probably let it go, I tell myself. But... Continue Reading →
No One Chooses to Be Abused
Something I've been seeing a lot of lately is commentary about how if women had just "known they had a choice" or that they were in charge of their births, that abuse of their bodies wouldn't happen. It seriously enrages me. It's just not true. SO MANY WOMEN tell their care providers, usually in hospital... Continue Reading →
Should Doulas Help Prevent Assault?
I'm having a discussion online right now about doulas, and their role in preventing or aiding in the assault of birthing women. I remember telling my story to a mom who had a non traumatizing birth at home. Her answer was simply, "Next time, I highly recommend a doula." Smug smile. Me: "I did have... Continue Reading →
Part III: After Birth
The next couple days in the hospital were just as devoid of joy. I had a lot of trouble breast feeding my baby. Her latch was hurting pretty badly on my right side, but when I asked the nurses with a lactation certification, she couldn't tell me what was wrong. One of the nurses said... Continue Reading →
Part II: Active Labor/Sh*t Gets Unreal
When my doula got to my place at 8pm, I was holding onto my husband. I was scared. The contractions were intense, and I couldn't imagine that I would be able to deal with pain any worse without being severely traumatized. She suggested I move from the bedroom floor to the bathtub. I looked at... Continue Reading →
Part I: The Start of Labor (and fighting induction)
I went into labor on Friday, December 16th, 2016 in the shower. The first contraction I timed was at 1:45pm and they came about 8 to 10 minutes apart. My husband and I had planned on going to a movie, to see Office Christmas Party, at 2:30pm (I was late getting ready). We got to... Continue Reading →
Dear OB: What You Steal
When we think of life stages - birth, childhood, end of life, death - we don't often think of giving birth as one of them. But I believe that giving birth is as much of a life stage as childhood. It's a part of the beginning of motherhood, but a very important stage of life,... Continue Reading →
Stop Telling Women Education Would Have Prevented Their C-Section
I'm really sick of reading articles where everyone from a random couch commenter to actual physicians will say that women can prevent doctors from performing unwanted and unnecessary c-sections on them by educating themselves. That is crap, and it's condescending. First, these people are implying the many, many women receiving unnecessary and unwanted surgeries are... Continue Reading →
Our View of Birth
Before I got pregnant, I realized there were generally two ways birth was depicted by movies, friends and family. Either women were decked out in flowers and pink, smiling proudly or smugly, in love with their belly, or, they were flat on their backs, legs pressed open, exposed, screaming in horror, with a male OB... Continue Reading →
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